Friday, April 8, 2011

09042011 I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so you can learn to let go Things go wrong so you appreciate them when they're right You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself And sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together
08042011 I know its my wrong for not wanting to join the conversation, but you guys seem happy with or even without me, so what's the point if things are going to be the way it seems, just leave me alone. Its very obvious and I get the vibe that he doesn't want me around or seems to be ignoring me. I know it doesn't affect the rest of you but it pierced through my heart and the wound will never be healed, though I tried to make the effort. What did I do wrong to get such harsh treatment? And when everyone's around, I just can't seem to not think about the issue though the rest implied that he's just a jerk and that I should forget about things. Put yourself in my shoes and you'll feel it I promise. You're just not going through the things I'm going through and it hurts bad. At least my boyfriend's always there for me, through hardships and sorrows, though none other could understand me, he does, and I appreciate every single thing he does. Staring at the buildings at the opposite side of the road, I kept telling myself not to think about things and just talk normally but my heart implies otherwise. What have I done? What have I done? I can't take this anymore, and from now onwards, I'll just be alone, with myself and no other, though times may be tough, but do I get a choice? I'm just not comfortable being around you guys and when I see you guys laugh and talk, I began to be depressed, fuck my life seriously. You guys just don't see the point. By asking me what's wrong doesn't help at all, rather makes it worst, being ignorant of my going throughs, life's just hard. I wish I could start all over on a new piece of blank paper.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

06042011 I feel so left out, insignificant in life, in my friend's eyes, i'm never included in anything, never once happy with anything, I just don't feel good about everything generally. What's with my fucking life? Friends aren't friends when all they care about is themselves, themselves and themselves. What's with society and everyone around me? I hate being alone, being left behind and ultimately only being there when the rest wants to have fun, it sucks

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

06042011 Being too dependent is torturing, cause you'll never know what would happen until time comes. My only hope of getting away with the things I was never interested in in life, guess the grass may not be greener on the other side. Never thought it would gonna end that way. People are people and sometimes they change their minds, leaving me restless, unsure of what to be without you around. Why aren't people treating me the way I treat others? Why are there so much pain and hurt within me that I may not even knew of its existence, feeling it little by little at times? Accumulating all sorrows, lingering through my mind, having thoughts of just killing myself for being too weak, always taken advantage on. I can't take this anymore, its hurt to know how ignorant some people are, how insensitive, how obnoxious people could get. And I know its never simple, never easy to deal with all these, I wish I could be home or simply just feel like home. Nevertheless, I'll still have to breathe, without you, I'll try to breathe. Thanks for listening

Monday, April 4, 2011

04042011 I miss you guys so much that I wish I could go back to December and to all the good times we had together <3 Welovetillwedie