Friday, April 30, 2010


I just want to sit in bed and snuggle and eat cereal and watch stupid movies with you all day long. I just want to cuddle in your arms looking at the blue sky fade into darkness as we both fall asleep. I just want to lean against you and feel your every heartbeat and do nothing else all day long as you hug me to sleep not letting me go. I love listening to you breathe when you're sleeping cause it calms my heart down. And I just want to be silent and listen to you talk about your past and silly things that you've done. I just want to cry knowing that you're by my side to cheer me up with hugs and kisses. I just want you to piggy back me all day long strolling through the park as I rest my head on your shoulders whispering sweet talks to you. I don't just want to imagine you by my side cause I miss you like crazy, every minute spent without you I'm lost. I just want to tell you that to find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. Shall we compare our hearts to a garden, with beautiful blooms, swooping birds and sunshine and rain and darkness. I just want to tell you that we loved with a love that was more than love. Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly. And a bell is no bell till you ring it. And a song is no song till you sing it. And love in your heart, wasn't put there to stay. As love isn't love till you give it away. I gave it away once, but that was brief as when I grieved I realized that I have not actually given it away. Time is definitely too slow for those who wait. 20 years I've waited for you to come into my life, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity. Our past is behind us, love is in front and all around us. Though I know a hundred hearts would be too few to carry all my love for you and love is not singular except in syllable as well. I've never felt as comfortable and as relaxed as when I am with you though I am definitely shaking nervously inside screaming at the top of my lungs when you said you love me. I just want to spend every sunset and sunrise with you, feeling your sweet kisses in the morning and before I sleep. I want to wake up with your eyes locked onto mine as I turned over to avoid your eyes nervous and shy. I want to wake up with gray hair and denches still finding ourselves cuddling like everyday. I just want to hold your hands and not talk yet with a comfortable silence that makes me smile to myself silly as I peeked at you and you back at me. Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart. I just want to play with your fingers all day long like how you stroked my hair with such gentleness which caught chills down my spine. Sometimes we make love with our eyes. Sometimes we make love with our hands, always we make love with our hearts. And I just want to giggle as you tickle me non stop when I mess around with you and then you pulled me back towards you. I just want to be close to you like how birds appear everytime when you are near. I just don't want to miss a thing with you because by missing a thing with you, I'm missing a piece of my life. We are both imperfect as we were meant to perfect each other and love each other till the other doesn't anymore. Tell me you love me will you? Tell me you love me everyday. Tell me over six billion souls in the world, I'm the only one you want. Tell me I'm worth it. Tell me I told you, it's you. Tell me do I love you because you're beautiful, or are you beautiful because I love you? Tell me when love is not madness, it is not love. Tell me there is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved. Tell me if I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden. Tell me to the world I might be just one person, but to you, I am your world. Tell me love is a symbol of eternity wiping out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all the fears of ends. Tell me hate leaves ugly scars but love leaves beautiful ones. Tell me I'm yours. I am already yours. For you see, each day I love you more. Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. So, tell me how many beads are there in a silver chain of evening rain, unravelled from the tumbling main, and threading the eye of a yellow star, so many times I've tried, and I finally found love today, in you. I love you.
Love is a cycle

When you love, you get hurt
When you get hurt, you hate
When you hate, you try to forget
When you try to forget, you start missing
And when you start missing...
You'll eventually fall in love again
And I did
I love you

Sunday, April 25, 2010

I wished for it

i wished for it
Constantly wished for it
And now it came through
Everything came through
Though its not perfect
I'll make it perfect
I know it'll be perfect~

Saturday, April 24, 2010

My cries,

Love is a funny thing
Sometimes, we feel the strong need to keep our love a secret
From the object of our affection, for various reasons
They could still be attached
They may consider us as 'bestfriends' and we don't want to endanger it
Or maybe we just haven't come to terms with our feelings
The attempts that we have already made were all suddenly interrupted.
When we finally confess, it's like pulling our own teeth.
Though I know of no joy, greater after the sweetness of confession
I've waited so long, I've waited forever
And I'll never let you go will I?
I've been searching for you since I took my first breath
All I long for is to love you till my last breath
From the moment I saw you I knew
I was looking for you
Can I wake up now? Can someone shake me hard?
Can I believe what I'm feeling?
And to be sure I wasn't dreaming still
I felt it in my heart, and it burst
I was in pain, deep pain, torn between me and you
I want you, yet thinking from your perspective, I don't want you
I just don't want to see you cry
I don't want to see you hurt
As when you're hurt, you're hurting me as well
And when I cry, I know your heart's crying too
Two confused souls, still wondering around, still
We've found our stops, but will we stop?
Baby, its killing me
As tears rolled down my eyes
When I saw what you wrote
My heart's burning
I don't want to keep running
Cause I'll always end up at you
You're just...

Sweeter than honey
Warm as a piece of the sun
And darker than night to a blind man
Yet softer than sharlit shining
Piercing through my heart
Melting my soul
You sent shivers down my spine
Just by looking at you
I don't want to miss a thing with you

You're just the best thing I ever had
Though it seemed so dejavu
I know deep inside that its not
Yet, I didn't want to believe it
I just didn't want to go through what I went through
Yet, again, cause I know I'm weak, weaker than you think I am
Though I can't seem to dance you out of my mind
Sometimes I'd just hide away in the nights
A place where you won't find me
A place where I might feel safe
But, I'll hear shoutings in my heart
Shattering them in millions, sometimes trillions
Till I'm unable to spread my wings, unable to fly to your side
When you satisfy my days and nights
Gratify my appetites, I never felt so good
I've always wanted to know how would it feel
When you filled the gaps of my fingers with yours
Come to think of it, that might be why God created it that way
I need you, though you'll never know

Thursday, April 22, 2010

it did...
it met, accidentally i guess x)

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Like what Liz said,

Cherish the moment, cherish each moment
So that no gaps will be left for regrets in later years
A part of me agreed to this, yet a part of me did not want to risk it
Or just incapable of risking it, so to speak
Life indeed is just like a brief candle, so vulnerable
We wouldn't know what's going to happen to us the next ten minutes
Unless you're psychic! HAHA
So why not go with the flow, go where the wind blows
To wherever it takes you
Take the path not taken all these while, take risks! Be bold
You'll have fun! And you may get a whole new perspective from that one step
One step which could make a huge difference in life
Cherish the moments, as we live
Cherish the lives we live
Don't be miserable! Be happy as you used to be
Life shouldn't be filled with regrets
Regrets suck! Have you ever experienced them?
I guess I did too, everyone should have at least one!
Though you're still a confused soul, just do what your heart tells you to
You're a strong girl, so don't think too much, just go out and enjoy to the fullest!
Chances don't happen twice, even if you want it too
Chances won't return, even if you cry your lungs out
Chances are opportunities that you should grab hold and not let go

Chances are not like rainbows, appearing everytime after the rain, unless you pray
Chances are rare and when you miss the chance
All you'll dream of are stars falling down one by one
At you

You freed my confused soul
No one ever succeeded
Though not no one, there was one
It had been a while since that one came along
And it had been a while since I'd love
I could love, yet I couldn't
I could give, yet I pulled back
I just didn't want to be hurt a second time
I did not want to give it a second chance
I just don't have the courage to
Do you? Tell me honestly
Do you feel the same way I do?
Do you feel the hurt that's been following you all these years?

I'm a little scared, so would you?
Comfort me, hold me, tell me I'm yours, tell me there's nothing to worry about
I've got soul, yes, still a confused soul
I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I'll never be, I'm weak, I'm vulnerable, I'm easily shattered
I was shattered once, my soul into pieces
Piece them up will you?
And glue them tight so they won't shatter any longer
Will you?

Monday, April 19, 2010


Everytime I look into your eyes
There's a pleasant surprise
Awaiting me and amazing me
Everything happened so fast, time passed so fast
Wish I could freeze moments, like Hiro Nakamura x) LOL!
Moments I did not need to pretend
Moments where I just laughed and be free
Like a bird you flew with me
Through everything
You called and just hung on for as long
There's just no uncomfortable silence between us
Though I just need to spend one moment with you
I've learnt to let you go and fly as you dream
Another moment
Somehow everything turned new
In the world I'm passing through
Over the waters that surrounded me
You wiped away my tears and sorrows
Getting to see you and feel you
You're always there
Our heads met when I curled up
You held my hands to keep me warm
Though its just for a split second I could recall every touch
And smile as I gazed at my own
How I wished you did not let go, something I could only dream of
Your voice that put me to sleep
Though I did not see you in my dreams
Why would I want to dream
When everything seems so real

Sunday, April 18, 2010

As Always...

Sitting by the window, waiting by the phone, sleeping all alone
Confused and dazed to actually realize how much I liked the tune
That it might come from you
You kept me waiting, I like waiting, though just a little
But sometimes its otherwise, our dreams kept us apart
Leading me to places of my own fantasy, which I loved a lot
Though you're not in it, but thinking of you before i drown in dreams
Are simply amazing
Counting you instead of counting sheeps, the thought of it itself
Is already sweet
And oh, reminds me of the bouncy thing that had been with me for quite some time
Right next to my window I kept it by my side
As long as I could as by looking at it I feel you by me
Cheering me up from my sorrows and lone
Remove that will you? I'm feeling the strain in me
Looking for the light through the pouring rain
I guess my hopes wouldn't come true, thought I really thought it would be beautiful
I know it will, at least that carried me through
Thanks for the joy that you've given me
I just want you to know I believe in your song, in everything that you are
Your rhythm and rhyme and harmony
And when my mind is free, you know melody can move me
And when I am feeling blue, your guitar came through to soothe me
You know, now that there is something, maybe it is just me
Still, not yet, find the exact arms, no longer
Though you may escape, leaving me lifeless, lost and confused once again
Your voice calms my every moment, like music in my ears
And your breath composes sweet surrenders
Like lullaby to my ears making me drowse and slumber, silence
Being still for hours yet knowing there's someone keeping you company
Though separated by a screen
Left me wondering why I always end up smiling after he's asleep
The feeling of someone looking out for you, someone being there for you
Hours passed, how I enjoyed every bit
Falling asleep thinking of how your hands might fit perfectly into mine
How your kisses send shivers and chills to my spine
And how your fingers would wander through my hair when I am asleep
I just can't get you out of me
Moments when we just sit together and talk forever just to pass time
Watching the sun rise and set every single day
When your eyes met mine, I turned over, yet I stared when you're not looking
Walking passed hoping that you'll notice but I guess you were just too busy
Discouraged, though I realize, it is hard to take courage
With those sad eyes, I took them away, in this world full of people
It is easy to lose sight of them all, and it just makes me smaller
Right then you came up to me and oh boy my heart pounded
Mesmerized by your beauty, I couldn't forget the way you looked at me
My heart was skipping beats, my head spinned
I felt so very shy, wonders if you feel it too
Like dejavu back in highschool
I guess I am in love, should I wait for the flowers to blossom on its own?
Day after day...

I am more confused
Beginning to think I am wasting time
I do not understand the things I do, all of them
The world outside looks so unkind
Some place I never want to go never want to step out of where I belong
Drifting away and away from reality
So much into my fantasy, carried away
Lost in the world I've created a few years back

Monday, April 12, 2010

Uncomfortable silences

Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?
That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.

You know,
when you are with someone
whether a person you know very or not very well
and sometimes you run out of stuff to say
and then the uncomfortable silence sets in
so, the arguement is
why should we even feel uncomfortable with that silence
and so the arguement goes on that
you know that someone is special, when both of you can just sit together, not say a thing, and still extremely comfortable.

~crdt Kit

Do i have mixed feelings? I guess I do?
Rainbows painted ~
Thanks Kit!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Paint me rainbows Will you?

Yeah, I've changed from sweet little thing to

paint me rainbows will you? already
Thought that would be more than suitable to my writings these couple of months Words that came knocking on my door, pleading to let them in
From the cold creepy world outside my door
I let them in, without hesitation
Knowing exactly how it felt being left to walk alone, without any hand to hold
In the dark, its all dark on this side of my world
Paint me rainbows will you?
Appreciated? How does it feel to be appreciated anyway when you're all along unappreciated
Being kicked to the curb, tossed around, being the centre of jokes
Cry? Why should I?
Rant? I guess I just did.

Saturday, April 3, 2010