sweetlittlething~

07082011

Being around people you used to be close with, and feeling awkward now, isn't the best thing in life. Reaching that point that you don't feel like mixing around with them anymore? Personally, it is just me and I am certainly not stating this in general. Being a loner ain't fun as blowing dandelions all over the garden as many of you may know and have stated many friends who had been in this situation before. Maybe you guys just didn't see it in me, that I am, naturally, one of them. Maybe I wasn't the one everybody's looking forward to see, looking forward to hear about, looking forward to share good news with, and many other situations. And maybe, I wasn't important at all, and I am well of that all these while. Better off just stay alone, be alone, shy away from society, why is all these things happening to me now? Moments that I thought I may be accompanied by many others but all these turned out so wrong that my life currently is ruined, and if it is not because of you darling, and my parents, I would just give up on my life here and travel back to my home country. Life here, the rejection, really hurts me. I may not put in enough effort, but I've reached the point that I don't fucking care already whether I have dinner dates, shopping dates, outing dates and all that matters because what I need is really a good friend. And so far, all I have is just acquaintances, including those I just met up with a couple of minutes ago for dinner. God, why are you treating me like this? Why are you letting me go through all these neglection and shits and I really wanted to laugh with you guys just now, but really, whatever that I say, no one EVER GIVES A FUCKING DAMN ABOUT! Sorry I seldom curse but I really really I hate this lah, just don't call me anymore, I feel like crying at the moment and I think I am, just leave me alone and I'll try to adjust myself to this new life of mine. Having been excluded from hell lots of things that you guys seemes to be doing together, without me, I'm just lost. I felt like crying when you guys asked me about single child life because that just adds to the misery that I am going through right now. You think my life is all butterflies and ponies but let me tell you this, my life is a FUCKING HELL I'll rather just live alone in the desert. So, please ask yourself this, what do you really know about me? Nothing really, after all these years, you guys still thinks I have a happy family. Going through these shits are really torturing, and I personally hate it when you guys talk about people you're close with because it hurts me, it pierces through my heart that those people ignores me now. You guys may think you know how I feel, but you don't. So, just let me cry in my little room of misery.