WHY?

4:56pm, 07.08.09 ....



We hugged each other. Hard enough not to let go. Why must I let go? I don't want to let go. I hate that feeling. I just hate it. Life sucks without you. Totally. Thats like the last time i'll ever see you. Not in another 3 years. I know you have to go sooner or later but I just don't want to see you leave. Why is everyone around me leaving? Why? You told me you love me. I told you the same words. In fact, I love you more, you know. You told me to stay strong. I know I'll stay strong no matter what happens in the future. You're not going to be by my side anymore like you always do. Remember the moments we had together. They are engraved deeply within my soul. Remember all crazy things we did together. I would not want to forget a thing. We laughed, we smiled, we cried, we camwhored alot. I just hate to see you leave. Just so you know, I enjoyed every moment that we spent together today. I was really glad to see you again after months of busyness that kept us apart. But the fact that you're going away kept us even further apart. I know I shouldn't ask you to stay and I didn't. But deep inside I wanted you to. You're my bestfriend and you know it darling. We never changed even abit. And I do hope that we will be like this for the rest of our lives. I'll wait for you to come back. But when you do, I'll not be here anymore. I hate this fact. I hate this feeling. I hate that you're going. Alone. And will you promise me that you'll be safe? That you'll take care of yourself? That you'll enjoy every moment of your new life? That you'll be yourself and not try so hard to be like the others? To blend in with others? And always remember. I'll always be here for you. We will always be here for you. My shoulder is always free for you. I love you. But I don't want to see you cry. You'll break my heart if you did. But when you're feeling down or sad, I'll always be there for you no matter what. You have my pictures. I have yours. Think about me and you'll be alright, knowing that I'll always support you no matter what decisions you've made. Just like always. Like the old times. Back then, I remember that you're the only one I could share my feelings with. It's hard to keep everything to myself. And you're always there for me. Sometimes it's not easy to share. You're my friend and my sister and you know I trusted you a hundred percent. And that's why I love talking to you. Even when my phone bill appears to be a killer after every phone call I had with you. How I miss your voice already. You have to know, it's not easy to share. Sometimes you may not understand a word I'm saying but you just listened to my rants. You too. Don't bottle up everything okay. You have to know too, that we don't only share happy moments. And I want to be a part in the times when the world seems to be crumbling. Thank you for being my friend all this while. It really isn't easy meeting someone you click so well with. Like you. Thank you for your cares and concerns. Always lending a listening ear. Helping me. Advising me. Thank you my friend. And of course life is not a bed of roses. Hardships are bound to come. But I know you'll be able to manage it. Just give it your best shot. Live life to the fullest. Life is not all about books and memorizing. Somehow or rather, by a slip of chance, you'll still get through everything alive. Like how I did. And like how you did all these years. Surviving like a superman. Because it's not how well you start the race. But how well you end it. It's funny to only realize how much I actually miss you. So many things seemed to happen these few days. Most of it out of my control. It kept me wondering what would happen next? Another person leaving? I've had enough of it. Why is this bothering me? Why am I feeling sad now when I know you're enjoying every last moment you have here at this very moment? It's not easy to let you go. Truly enough. You're going off. It couldn't have been more heart breaking. But as I promised you, I would be strong. Not to fly off when the wind blows. Haha. Knowing you'd always be there for me. Supporting me. To achieve what I needed to. And make you proud. Missed you so. You're going off. I grew up with you. Watching your every stage of life. Indeed you brought laughters and happiness to my life. It was heart-wrenching to watch you go. Streams of tears flow by the thought of that. How much more will I miss you? I could only watch you from pictures now. If I were asked the reason why you mean so much to me, I wouldn't know just where to start. There are loads of them. Maybe it's your patience. The way you always try. To understand my problems and to help me reason why. Or could it be that so often you can see the funny side of things, which helps me cope more easily with the setbacks that life brings. Your brilliant sense of humour and your wonderful sense of fun, can instantly chase the gloom away and welcome back the sunit really means a lot to methat I can count on you,to help me see more clearly by giving your caring point of view. To be there standing by me when others let me down, always trying to cheer me up when you see me with a frown. The happy times I spent with you mean so much to me, we get along so well. Yet, why are you leaving me here? I guess its just time. Fate. Which I can't go against. In a few more hours you'll be gone. So far away. I just hate that you're going away. Don't be so sad. You know I'll be fine here. Just so you know, I love you very very much. What you wrote in your letter brought me to tears, bringing me back to our old times where we used to have fun together. I'll miss you dearly See Ying. Love you always. Your best friend. Marie.