Saturday, May 1, 2010

I remember...

I remember our every first.
How our hands touched, though just a little while.
I thought I was silly back then when I do things based on instincts
Like staring at your picture blankly for hours and hours
Photoshopping my picture in yours assuring myself that we both looked good together
Peeking at you constantly when you are not looking, then pretending to be doing other things when you suddenly looked my way
Smiling wide when you are near me, dreaming that you'll wink at me
Pretending to be normal when you talked to me
Calming myself down from shivers and chills when you stared at me
Trying not to melt when your eyes locked mine
I guess I should have stayed in the freezer then, not coming out till you lead me
And because whenever I feel cold I'd wish that you are there by me
Though most of the times, thinking of you already warmed me
At first I dare not think of us as more than what we were, knowing all along that we were friends for so long and shared the same gang of friends. I really did not think much, thus I sort of let you go slowly, though i feel bitter heartaches every night wanting you yet not wanting you. Anyway, who am I to dream of such dreams, that wishes would come true? That my life was always meant to be a fairytale? I am nobody. I am not pretty I am not talented. I am not smart. I am not good at anything. I am boring. I am not an entertainer. I am not humourous. I am not outspoken. I am not fun. I am not like other girls. I meant, I am not as good as them. I can never compare myself to them. I am nothing compared to them. But you said that I am not like other girls. I am not like other girls? What? Am I not as good? I know, sigh. But then you told me that you meant the other way around. That I am me, I have my own style. That you love me for who I am. I felt that I was worth it for that split second. To you, at least and definitely to my parents and God. You were the only one who told me I am not boring, though I constantly asked you this when we were together for that moment. I needed assurance I knew you could gave me. And true to the fact, you did. You told me a bunch of stuffs that you love to do, and as I listened, I began to see how we were so much alike. As in, how could this be possible? How could my fairytale other half be you? Will my other half even exist? OMG Why am I writing this when I already have you? HAHAHAH! Luckiest girl on the planet <3
30042010

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