sweetlittlething~

13062011 Sometimes I wonder, who am I to everyone? What do I mean to everyone? Who are my friends? Who are my close friends? Who are those around me? These thoughts ran through my head early this morning and it is still lingering around, waking me up from my dreams of an almost perfect life. It snapped away the past of everything I used to know and everyone I used to love, just in a blink of an eye, everything seemed like a lie. Just like that, everything started to change, every perception of mine started to twist, every thought of mine slowly began to doubt itself. Life used to be simple to me, but it turned out that I've been living a lie all these years. Being in my shoes, is good, but as time passes, loneliness started to kick in, the environment changes, the streets change, people change, hearts change. Permanence? Nothing is permanent. Everything that I thought would last, didn't seem so already and I am tired of this, so very tired of this, of the world and of people around me. Though most of the time I let quietness and solitude overwhelm myself, it will eventually come to a point where I have to let some things out so I could let new miseries and rejection sink in. Partly I blame myself for not living up socially, as all that had happened to me prevented me from doing so, often telling myself that I'd be better off alone than with everyone. People do change due to circumstances and I am one of them. My friends are always there for me, sometimes, only a handful of people. Sometimes, you'll just loose trust in the rest, slowly losing touch as well, used to being close, so close, yet so far in heart after what they had done to you. There will always be a phase in life that you'll have to go through no matter what and right now, I guess I am trapped in the phase of rejection and solitude. Its okay, really. It takes time to really build up genuine friendship which I thought I had, once had, until today..this really disappointed me, piercing through my heart.