sweetlittlething~

16062011 Why must my days start with tears? Most of my days in fact. Eventually, after a few rejections, I realized that things aren't going to change anymore. Friends aren't permanent and isolation begins to kick in when people don't bother or don't even feel like telling you what's going to happen, what's happening around with the rest, nah, its okay. I've been there, though many times already, I'm seriously hating this world right now, being in my state, you will do the same, might as well just turn your backs on everyone and live a lonely life in this foreign country. I know some of them didn't mean to hurt me, but I know, my presence wouldn't really make a difference anyway. Being there, not being there, you guys will still have fun no matter what. I am just nothing to everyone, a piece of junk, a punching board where I'm constantly hit, not in the face, but in the heart, piercing through my soul each time, each day I got rejected, as always. I guess this is the time for me to really sit down and think things, whether should I continue to be nice to everyone, invite them over for dinners, chats and all, maybe not already. There's seriously no point in doing that already. Shying away from the crowd hurts me more, no doubt, no friends, does it hurt? you bet it does, but that is the only way for me to avoid myself being hurt time after time. Things really changed. Everybody expect me to know things, but in fact, I actually don't and I am partly blaming myself for this. I should have known all these things, but turned out not and that costed me another round of rejection and depression. I guess that is my only relationship with the world now, with the society. My life here is fucking depressing with people around me not caring for me, taking advantage of me, just stop everything okay? Thank you for wasting five minutes of your life reading about my rejected life. I guess no one could ever relate to my state right now.