Thursday, June 16, 2011

17062011 After watching 'Definitely Maybe' and 'A Cinderella Story', I realize that you'll always be there for me no matter what and true love exists. Being my best friend and companion, you're always there to listen to me, make me laugh in times when i cry, make me feel good about myself, accompanying me through the night, tell me everything's okay when I feel that my world kept crashing down on me, and many more unexplainable things. You're just there for me every second, every minute and I can't explain just how grateful I am to have you when most of my friends turned their backs on me. Also, I am grateful that two of them came over and told me what did happened and that I wasn't rejected or anything by everyone, though that was what I thought and wouldn't stop thinking about day and night, often having to cry myself to bed because this is not how I want to be treated. Like what my besties always say about me, that I am the kind who is okay with anything, anyone, any plans, not fussy, everything's right with me, happy and always, not having all these dramas to deal with or even starting one. Yes, thats totally true just that I conceal all the dramas, pain and depression in my mind, in my heard, that the world slammed on me. These things are often played over and over again in my head like a ferris wheel, slowly, detailed memories, sad memories though, but in my case, it never stopped lik ehow a ferris wheel would stop to let in and out passengers. Nonetheless, I am happy that my friends came to sort out things with me, though I cried much through the process. She said to me, 'do you honestly mind when you knew about this....' Frankly, everyone would. It is just a matter whether they may choose to confront you, talk to you or just keep it to themselves forever. And today, I also found out that one of my friend who never did or want to talk to me since we came here, actually wanted to give me a call about the matter, telling me everything's okay. Though all of us know it would be sort of awkward for him to call me, at least now I knew we actually could be friends again, just a matter of time. It affected me physically, mentally, my studies, my relationships, if I would have a choice, I wouldn't want to be me. But it is only through all these circumstances, that I will learn how to handle life, and handle the world. Thank you God, for helping me go through everything that has happened to me. All the shits that I've been going through, I know it was there for a purpose, helping me grow stronger and mature in handling things like these in the future, not being so weak like what I am now, helping me get through these step by step. Letting out and learning to let go, I learnt. Thanks for listening though. Appreciate them much if you do <3

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